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Men – we’re surprisingly complex beasts you know? You women look at us and just see the oil-stained hands, our knowledge of football trivia and the leering at women we do as we drive past them on the street, but you completely overlook the fact that beneath these crunchy, sexist outer layers there lies a chewy, emotional centre. Sometimes us men are just big girls in shiny shoes and nowhere is this more apparent than at a wedding, where we can finally let ourselves go. Like these colossal jessies.
Ok, this bloke might be taking the whole emotion thing a bit too far. From the opening seconds where you think you’re going to witness him upchucking his pre-wedding G&T to the stomping and restraining, you do wonder just how eager he is to get on with the whole first night thing…Glory indeed.
All the women in the congregation are sighing and wishing they had a man who could be as open and emotionally honest as this groom. All the men are counting down the seconds until they can laugh straight in his big teary face. His bride dabbing his tears away with a little silk hankie just makes the whole thing unbearable.
Meh. Not so sure about this one. The whole massed audience, the cameras and his pre-prepared speech make us wary that he’s faking it. We’re not going to come right out and say sociopathic tendencies but we’re all thinking it.
Almost half of people want to get married abroad to avoid distant relatives and unwanted acquaintances, according to new research conducted by Sandals Resorts, the Luxury Included® Caribbean hotel company. 47 per cent of those surveyed said they would like to or are planning to marry abroad to avoid inviting distant relations and acquaintances that they don’t really want to be there.
The survey conducted with 2000 respondents shows that weddings abroad are now just as popular as those at home, with an equal number of people saying they would like to get married overseas (40 per cent) as at home in the UK (40 per cent). Just among those planning to marry within the next 12 months, 54 per cent said they’ll marry at home and 46 per cent are actually planning a ceremony abroad.
Amanda Lucas, weddings supervisor, Sandals UK said “We have seen a year-on-year increase in the number of weddings we’ve organised abroad this year for obvious reasons such as better weather; however, alleviating stress and avoiding family issues seem to be a common reason for our guests marrying abroad”. She adds “Sandals Weddingmoons® make the whole wedding experience as seamless as possible from beginning to end, which is clearly attractive to couples today, and they’re also a better value option than the soaring costs of UK weddings”.
The research also highlighted that 28 per cent of those marrying in the UK were planning to spend over £10,000 on their wedding and honeymoon compared with 23 per cent of those marrying abroad**, highlighting the fact that weddings abroad are more cost effective than those in the UK.
As expected, better weather (69 per cent) proves to be people’s main reason for marrying abroad, followed by the romance (47 per cent) of tying the knot in an exotic location. Lower cost (23 per cent) is also another driver for people getting hitched abroad and 39 per cent of those surveyed said being able to combine their wedding with a honeymoon is a huge factor. The Caribbean proved to be a popular destination of choice for the majority (23 per cent), followed by Italy (14 per cent) and The Maldives (12 per cent).
Sandals Luxury Included® resorts are located in Jamaica, Antigua, St Lucia and The Bahamas. Sandals recently partnered with Martha Stewart Weddings® to offer Sandals Weddings by Martha Stewart™ – six exclusively designed wedding packages, each with a different theme ranging from Island Paradise to Chic and Natural. A Beautiful Beginnings Sandals Wedding by Martha Stewart package comes free with a Concierge room booking. A seven night Sandals Weddingmoon® costs from £1333 per person, staying in a Concierge room on a Luxury Included® basis at Sandals Grande Ocho Rios Beach & Villa Golf Resort in Jamaica. Return airfares, resort transfers and a Beautiful Beginnings wedding package are all included in the price. (For travel in September.)
There seems to be a general feeling that the Father of the Bride is often the forgotten man of the wedding planning process. The feeling is that you’re probably experienced enough to cope with the nerves and tough enough to cope with the emotions. But that’s why we often end up feeling sorry for the FOTB (you’ve even got the worst wedding acronym for crying out loud) and decided to round-up some essential advice for all the dads out there prior to the big day.
Deal With The Nerves Before They Ruin It
It’s perfectly natural and acceptable for you to feel nervous. Nerves about the ceremony and speeches are in the top three subjects that fill the Staggered inbox. Fortunately, both can be cured with some simple preparation. Write and practice your speech at least a month in advance of the big day and do everything you can to make it to the church rehearsal as this will give you an idea of where to stand and when.
Speeches Are Easy When You Prepare
You can find way more information on Staggered about wedding speeches but this is it in a nutshell. Between 5 and 8 minutes, less is more, stand straight, don’t mumble and speak from the heart. Always write your speech in full (never “wing it”), because even if you don’t use it you’ve always got it in case you need it. Give a copy to your daughter for the wedding memory box. The Father of the Bride welcomes the guests, sets the tempo, welcomes his new family members and talks about his daughter without embarrassing her!
It Will Be Emotional – Get Ready
Blokes and emotions are never a good mix, for the simple reason that we’re often a bit slower at dealing with them and how they affect us. Take some time before the wedding to talk to your daughter about the wedding and what she means to you. Too many men think they’ll come out with the perfect speech in the car on the way to the church and end up feeling that they never quite explained how they feel – or worse: end up at the church a sobbing mess!
How To Deal With The Money
The good news is that this generation are getting married later, the bad news being that they’re living with their parents longer. As a result more of them are paying for their own wedding. If you’re still footing the bill and you find that the wedding is placing too much of a burden on your finances then make it clear that costs need to be cut. Everyone wants a perfect wedding, but no one wants that to come at the expense of a stressed dad. Also there are thousands of resources out there on how to get a champagne wedding on beer prices, use them!
Plan Your Advice
As with the emotions, this is another topic that should be tackled in advance of the big day. It’s tradition that you pass on some advice – whether that’s in your speech or just in passing. This is a big thing both for the bride and the groom and many people remember for their whole lives what was said to them at this point. So make it wise, make it original and make it something personal. Think about your marriage: what have you learned? What can you say that will improve these young people’s chance of happiness? But remember, no pressure…
Julie Dawson, The Wedding Genie, shares her top tips for the morning of your wedding.
The wedding you have planned and dreamed of for probably the last year or even more is here. You may be excited, happy, nervous and scared all at the same time, the big question I am often asked is – “What is the first thing a bride should do when she wakes up on the morning of her wedding?”
Here is a simple list to help you focus on what’s important on one of the biggest days of your life.
Smile! It’s your big day!
Something light perhaps cereal and fruit. Try not to miss eating because you are nervous, you will feel even more jittery if you are starving and as the day goes on you will have less time to eat. Make sure you have some nibbles in the room where you are getting ready. If you really can’t face anything, put one of those power snacks in your bag to give you a boost when you need it.
Don’t go to the window and panic about the weather
Our English weather changes so fast in a few hours it will probably be lovely for your ceremony, so just get on and enjoy your preparation. You can’t do anything about it and you will have put a plan in place anyway for bad weather.
Trust your wedding team and make sure they have the heads up of the day’s timings
Many brides are stressed because of the list of things that have to be done and checked on the day. Make sure you have planned well beforehand. Give that list to your chief bridesmaid, or whoever is your key helper. Make a time plan for the day so that everyone knows what is happening and when, and give your bridal team a copy. Remember you chose them because you can trust them and they are your support system.
It’s your job to look and feel gorgeous
Give yourself plenty of time to be pampered. Getting hair and makeup done takes longer than you think and you should have time to enjoy it too!!
Make sure you have your little bag of essentials
For each bride that might be different, but your favourite lipstick or lip-gloss for touching up is one that should be in there, a miniature perfume if you want to freshen up as the days goes on and Tissues, you will cry at some point. Blotting tissues if the weather is hot and you want to avoid shine on your wedding photos. If you don’t want to use a bag then make sure a bridesmaid has those things for you in their bag. Extra things you should have close by, to keep in the car or your room are an emergency sewing kit, spare tights/stockings, clear polish for runs in tights and safety pins. If you wear contact lenses make sure you have a spare pair.
It is a good idea to have worn those new wedding shoes
You should wear your wedding shoes for a few hours beforehand to break them in. There is nothing worse than having sore feet. You can even have a spare pair for after the ceremony just in case they do start to rub. Clear blister plasters are a godsend and really do work.
Take time to enjoy the details of your day
Go and have a look at the tables and decoration before anyone else. You have spent months planning these details, so take them all in before your guests are seated.
Remember today is all about you and your life partner
Just take a few minutes to think about how much you love your husband-to-be and why you are meant to be together. It will make you smile as you walk down the aisle.
whatever is not done now probably won’t matter and no one will notice.
Enjoy every single moment of your day
It is true, all brides will tell you the hours just speed by.
If you hired a wedding coordinator for the day roll over in bed, smile…
and begin the pampering in total comfort and enjoyment.
One last thing, your wedding will be fantastic because weddings just are. They are all about you and your family and friends; no one will notice the little mishaps that may occur. If the weather is not as you wished, a good photographer will make sure you have the best pictures and there is always time to pop out when the sun comes out.
Who has time to actually say things in full these days? For instance I could have shaved off at least ten seconds of work time by starting this post WHTTASTIFTD? And who’s to say that would have been wrong?
Weddings are a breeding ground for shorthand and acronyms, but the normal ones don’t go far enough. So, I’ve added a few to the pot in the hope they wedding forums across the globe will adopt them, thus saving you and your W2B (Wife To Be – you see how this works?) precious microseconds. Time, it’s my gift to you.