5 Essential Things For The Father of the Bride

I Am Staggered Head

There seems to be a general feeling that the Father of the Bride is often the forgotten man of the wedding planning process. The feeling is that you’re probably experienced enough to cope with the nerves and tough enough to cope with the emotions. But that’s why we often end up feeling sorry for the FOTB (you’ve even got the worst wedding acronym for crying out loud) and decided to round-up some essential advice for all the dads out there prior to the big day.

  1. Deal With The Nerves Before They Ruin It
    It’s perfectly natural and acceptable for you to feel nervous. Nerves about the ceremony and speeches are in the top three subjects that fill the Staggered inbox. Fortunately, both can be cured with some simple preparation. Write and practice your speech at least a month in advance of the big day and do everything you can to make it to the church rehearsal as this will give you an idea of where to stand and when.
  2. Speeches Are Easy When You Prepare
    You can find way more information on Staggered about wedding speeches but this is it in a nutshell. Between 5 and 8 minutes, less is more, stand straight, don’t mumble and speak from the heart. Always write your speech in full (never “wing it”), because even if you don’t use it you’ve always got it in case you need it. Give a copy to your daughter for the wedding memory box. The Father of the Bride welcomes the guests, sets the tempo, welcomes his new family members and talks about his daughter without embarrassing her!
  3. It Will Be Emotional – Get Ready
    Blokes and emotions are never a good mix, for the simple reason that we’re often a bit slower at dealing with them and how they affect us. Take some time before the wedding to talk to your daughter about the wedding and what she means to you. Too many men think they’ll come out with the perfect speech in the car on the way to the church and end up feeling that they never quite explained how they feel – or worse: end up at the church a sobbing mess!
  4. How To Deal With The Money
    The good news is that this generation are getting married later, the bad news being that they’re living with their parents longer. As a result more of them are paying for their own wedding. If you’re still footing the bill and you find that the wedding is placing too much of a burden on your finances then make it clear that costs need to be cut. Everyone wants a perfect wedding, but no one wants that to come at the expense of a stressed dad. Also there are thousands of resources out there on how to get a champagne wedding on beer prices, use them!
  5. Plan Your Advice
    As with the emotions, this is another topic that should be tackled in advance of the big day. It’s tradition that you pass on some advice – whether that’s in your speech or just in passing. This is a big thing both for the bride and the groom and many people remember for their whole lives what was said to them at this point. So make it wise, make it original and make it something personal. Think about your marriage: what have you learned? What can you say that will improve these young people’s chance of happiness? But remember, no pressure…

Article by Andrew Shanahan

Woman with cup of tea

Top Tips for the Morning of Your Wedding

Julie Dawson, The Wedding Genie, shares her top tips for the morning of your wedding.

The wedding you have planned and dreamed of for probably the last year or even more is here. You may be excited, happy, nervous and scared all at the same time, the big question I am often asked is  – “What is the first thing a bride should do when she wakes up on the morning of her wedding?”

Here is a simple list to help you focus on what’s important on one of the biggest days of your life.

Smile! It’s your big day!

Have breakfast

Woman with cup of tea Something light perhaps cereal and fruit. Try not to miss eating because you are nervous, you will feel even more jittery if you are starving and as the day goes on you will have less time to eat. Make sure you have some nibbles in the room where you are getting ready. If you really can’t face anything, put one of those power snacks in your bag to give you a boost when you need it.

Don’t go to the window and panic about the weather

Our English weather changes so fast in a few hours it will probably be lovely for your ceremony, so just get on and enjoy your preparation. You can’t do anything about it and you will have put a plan in place anyway for bad weather.

Trust your wedding team and make sure they have the heads up of the day’s timings

Many brides are stressed because of the list of things that have to be done and checked on the day. Make sure you have planned well beforehand. Give that list to your chief bridesmaid, or whoever is your key helper. Make a time plan for the day so that everyone knows what is happening and when, and give your bridal team a copy. Remember you chose them because you can trust them and they are your support system.

It’s your job to look and feel gorgeous

Give yourself plenty of time to be pampered. Getting hair and makeup done takes longer than you think and you should have time to enjoy it too!!

Make sure you have your little bag of essentials

For each bride that might be different, but your favourite lipstick or lip-gloss for touching up is one that should be in there, a miniature perfume if you want to freshen up as the days goes on and Tissues, you will cry at some point. Blotting tissues if the weather is hot and you want to avoid shine on your wedding photos. If you don’t want to use a bag then make sure a bridesmaid has those things for you in their bag. Extra things you should have close by, to keep in the car or your room are an emergency sewing kit, spare tights/stockings, clear polish for runs in tights and safety pins. If you wear contact lenses make sure you have a spare pair.

Wedding shoes

It is a good idea to have worn those new wedding shoes

You should wear your wedding shoes for a few hours beforehand to break them in. There is nothing worse than having sore feet. You can even have a spare pair for after the ceremony just in case they do start to rub. Clear blister plasters are a godsend and really do work.

Take time to enjoy the details of your day

Go and have a look at the tables and decoration before anyone else. You have spent months planning these details, so take them all in before your guests are seated.

Remember today is all about you and your life partner

Just take a few minutes to think about how much you love your husband-to-be and why you are meant to be together. It will make you smile as you walk down the aisle.

Don’t panic

whatever is not done now probably won’t matter and no one will notice.

Enjoy every single moment of your day

It is true, all brides will tell you the hours just speed by.

If you hired a wedding coordinator for the day roll over in bed, smile…

and begin the pampering in total comfort and enjoyment.

One last thing, your wedding will be fantastic because weddings just are. They are all about you and your family and friends; no one will notice the little mishaps that may occur. If the weather is not as you wished, a good photographer will make sure you have the best pictures and there is always time to pop out when the sun comes out.

Written by Julie Dawson, The Wedding Genie.

Images Courtesy of Emily Quinton Photography

Wedding Acronyms

Who has time to actually say things in full these days? For instance I could have shaved off at least ten seconds of work time by starting this post WHTTASTIFTD? And who’s to say that would have been wrong?

Acronyms

Weddings are a breeding ground for shorthand and acronyms, but the normal ones don’t go far enough. So, I’ve added a few to the pot in the hope they wedding forums across the globe will adopt them, thus saving you and your W2B (Wife To Be – you see how this works?) precious microseconds. Time, it’s my gift to you.

Actual Wedding Acronyms

H2B – Husband To Be

B2B – Bride To Be

BM – Best Man

FOB/FOTB – Father Of The Bride

MOB/MOTB – Mother Of The Bride

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Groom and best man

Picking Your Best Man

One of the few wedding jobs going that is emphatically the groom’s responsibility is choosing the best man. Now that doesn’t mean that certain people *cough* the bride-to-be *cough* might not offer an opinion or two on who it should be. But they ultimately know that the best man is as serious as male friendships get, and therefore they should back the heck off. We’re not going to join the roster of people queuing up to tell you who to pick, but we do have some advice.

Groom and best man

Pick with your heart, not your head

What the bride wants is for you to pick someone who won’t take you to a strip club on your stag do. She wants you to pick someone who will say disarmingly charming things during his speech. She wants someone who looks good in a suit and won’t spend the reception at the bar chanting: “CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!” with their pants on their head. In essence, the bride wants you to pick your grandmother.

The guy you’re thinking of choosing might fit the above description, or they may be a rogue of the first water. Just remember that you’re picking your best man on the qualities of deep friendship, of shared experiences and, damn it all – on love. Go with your heart.

Don’t pick a woman

You’re angry aren’t you? You’re thinking – “How dare they. Women can be just as much a best friend to a man as a man can.” Well, that’s a debate for another time (as is the old When Harry Met Sally men can’t be friends with women because sex gets in the way discussion).

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Men in mankinis

Five Easy Stag Fancy Dress Ideas

Something weird happens to blokes when you get a group of them together for an event, such as a stag-do. It usually only takes about four beers before someone will suggest that rather than just meeting up, having a drink and a chat and then going home, that the whole thing would go better if they wore weird costumes. Stag fancy dress is one of the more extreme examples of this, with guys going to great lengths to make sure they stick out.

Men in mankinis

What if you can’t be bothered though and want a simple solution? Here are five lightning quick stag fancy dress costumes.

Ninjas

Granted, it might be a bit of an issue combining a group of blokes with beer and an incentive to practice amateur martial arts. But if you fancy living on the wild side, then this article shows you how to create an amazing ninja look. All you need then is a pair of black pyjamas and you’re set.

Moustaches

This one is actually a brilliant way of breaking the ice on a stag-do. You might get a bit of complaining from the people who have real jobs, but generally speaking you should be ok. There’s not even a stag fancy dress costume to wear. All you have to do is grow a moustache for a month before the do, then on the night you sport the most magnificent ‘tache you can muster. Bristly!

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