Let’s Hear It For The Dads

I Am Staggered Head

Dads. They mend plugs with butter knives, keep half-empty tins of paint in the shed and always, always know where the batteries are kept. So when it came to advice about weddings, Staggered decided that we should go straight to our readers’ dads and see what pearls of wisdom they’d dispensed before their weddings. Turns out our readers’ dads enjoy quotes and clichés.

“He seems like a nice lad, he always has done, and I’m glad you’re marrying him. But remember, if needs be, I’ll bash his head in.” – Lucy

“Marriage is not always 50/50. Some days you will wake up and may have to give 90% and your spouse will give 10%. Other days you may wake up and give 25% and your husband will have to put in the 75%. I never thought of this before but it is so true.” – Roger

“Remember, she does want something for her birthday.” – Al

“At the height of planning my wedding, and when my grooms frustration reached its peak, my father took me to one side and said “You know all the times when you’ve imagined scoring an FA Cup winning goal at Wembley, or taking 5 wickets at Lords, or playing the closing set at Glastonbury, or whatever you imagine when your brain goes in to its screensaver mode… Well for every time you’ve imagined something like that which will never happen, she’s imagined this wedding day and that will – so be patient and cut her some slack – it’ll be worth it in the end”. He’s a genius, my father!” –  Jim

“Don’t cock it up.” – Alan

“The two cornerstones of a wonderful marriage are chocolate and compromise.” – Marie

“Live long and prosper.” – Alex (“Yes, he did quote Spock.”)

“You never suited a bachelor life.” – Andy

“Can we hurry this along if possible; the dog’s getting restless back in the car.” – Colin

Article by Andrew Shanahan of I am Staggered

Let us know if your own dad had something to share prior to your big day. Was it as meaningful as Colin’s Dad’s? If you’re a father of the bride then be sure to have a look at the UK’s leading men’s wedding website Staggered as we’ve got plenty of resources just for you.

Groomswear Mood Board

Groomswear Ideas

Today’s groomswear mood board is to help all you grooms out there who are trying to find the perfect wedding suits for you and your groomsmen. We have chosen a selection of our favourite groomswear, from traditional morning suits and frock coats to modern fitted suits.

What will you wear?

Groomswear Mood Board

Morning Suit – Affleck and Moffat

Light Grey Suit – Red

Brown Jacket with Pink Waistcoat – Jack Bunneys

Purple Cravat and Light Gold Cravat – My Tuxedo

Air Blue Suit – Hugh Harris

Grey Morning Suit – Winstanley’s Morning Wear

Ivory Cravat – Marks & Spencer

Oatmeal Suit – Marc Wallace

Navy Slim Fit Suit – Next

Black Frock Coat – From Here to Eternity

Men Crying at Weddings

I Am Staggered Head

Men – we’re surprisingly complex beasts you know? You women look at us and just see the oil-stained hands, our knowledge of football trivia and the leering at women we do as we drive past them on the street, but you completely overlook the fact that beneath these crunchy, sexist outer layers there lies a chewy, emotional centre. Sometimes us men are just big girls in shiny shoes and nowhere is this more apparent than at a wedding, where we can finally let ourselves go. Like these colossal jessies.

Ok, this bloke might be taking the whole emotion thing a bit too far. From the opening seconds where you think you’re going to witness him upchucking his pre-wedding G&T to the stomping and restraining, you do wonder just how eager he is to get on with the whole first night thing…Glory indeed.

All the women in the congregation are sighing and wishing they had a man who could be as open and emotionally honest as this groom. All the men are counting down the seconds until they can laugh straight in his big teary face. His bride dabbing his tears away with a little silk hankie just makes the whole thing unbearable.

Meh. Not so sure about this one. The whole massed audience, the cameras and his pre-prepared speech make us wary that he’s faking it. We’re not going to come right out and say sociopathic tendencies but we’re all thinking it.

Article by Andrew Shanahan

5 Essential Things For The Father of the Bride

I Am Staggered Head

There seems to be a general feeling that the Father of the Bride is often the forgotten man of the wedding planning process. The feeling is that you’re probably experienced enough to cope with the nerves and tough enough to cope with the emotions. But that’s why we often end up feeling sorry for the FOTB (you’ve even got the worst wedding acronym for crying out loud) and decided to round-up some essential advice for all the dads out there prior to the big day.

  1. Deal With The Nerves Before They Ruin It
    It’s perfectly natural and acceptable for you to feel nervous. Nerves about the ceremony and speeches are in the top three subjects that fill the Staggered inbox. Fortunately, both can be cured with some simple preparation. Write and practice your speech at least a month in advance of the big day and do everything you can to make it to the church rehearsal as this will give you an idea of where to stand and when.
  2. Speeches Are Easy When You Prepare
    You can find way more information on Staggered about wedding speeches but this is it in a nutshell. Between 5 and 8 minutes, less is more, stand straight, don’t mumble and speak from the heart. Always write your speech in full (never “wing it”), because even if you don’t use it you’ve always got it in case you need it. Give a copy to your daughter for the wedding memory box. The Father of the Bride welcomes the guests, sets the tempo, welcomes his new family members and talks about his daughter without embarrassing her!
  3. It Will Be Emotional – Get Ready
    Blokes and emotions are never a good mix, for the simple reason that we’re often a bit slower at dealing with them and how they affect us. Take some time before the wedding to talk to your daughter about the wedding and what she means to you. Too many men think they’ll come out with the perfect speech in the car on the way to the church and end up feeling that they never quite explained how they feel – or worse: end up at the church a sobbing mess!
  4. How To Deal With The Money
    The good news is that this generation are getting married later, the bad news being that they’re living with their parents longer. As a result more of them are paying for their own wedding. If you’re still footing the bill and you find that the wedding is placing too much of a burden on your finances then make it clear that costs need to be cut. Everyone wants a perfect wedding, but no one wants that to come at the expense of a stressed dad. Also there are thousands of resources out there on how to get a champagne wedding on beer prices, use them!
  5. Plan Your Advice
    As with the emotions, this is another topic that should be tackled in advance of the big day. It’s tradition that you pass on some advice – whether that’s in your speech or just in passing. This is a big thing both for the bride and the groom and many people remember for their whole lives what was said to them at this point. So make it wise, make it original and make it something personal. Think about your marriage: what have you learned? What can you say that will improve these young people’s chance of happiness? But remember, no pressure…

Article by Andrew Shanahan

Groom and best man

Picking Your Best Man

One of the few wedding jobs going that is emphatically the groom’s responsibility is choosing the best man. Now that doesn’t mean that certain people *cough* the bride-to-be *cough* might not offer an opinion or two on who it should be. But they ultimately know that the best man is as serious as male friendships get, and therefore they should back the heck off. We’re not going to join the roster of people queuing up to tell you who to pick, but we do have some advice.

Groom and best man

Pick with your heart, not your head

What the bride wants is for you to pick someone who won’t take you to a strip club on your stag do. She wants you to pick someone who will say disarmingly charming things during his speech. She wants someone who looks good in a suit and won’t spend the reception at the bar chanting: “CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!” with their pants on their head. In essence, the bride wants you to pick your grandmother.

The guy you’re thinking of choosing might fit the above description, or they may be a rogue of the first water. Just remember that you’re picking your best man on the qualities of deep friendship, of shared experiences and, damn it all – on love. Go with your heart.

Don’t pick a woman

You’re angry aren’t you? You’re thinking – “How dare they. Women can be just as much a best friend to a man as a man can.” Well, that’s a debate for another time (as is the old When Harry Met Sally men can’t be friends with women because sex gets in the way discussion).

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