Cynicism, pah! Cynicism went out with Keyboard Cat and saying “lol!” without meaning it. The new internet hotness is rabid enthusiasm about things and general swooning with delight. So, very much in this spirit and fuelled by cheap caffeine, here’s five things that men absolutely love about weddings! SQUUUUEEAAAAAL!

1. Finger Buffets
   The finger buffet is a timeless catering roulette. It’s not up everyone’s street, but few aspects of catering are quite as adventurous. Is there egg on that sandwich? Are those crisps mixed? Will the couple have gone the extra mile and have fresh bacon sandwiches brought out at about 9ish?
2. Under Age Boozing
   Usual booze legalities don’t apply at weddings. Most of us had our first secretive beer at a wedding and there’s nothing quite as heart-warming as seeing an early teenager being sick in a pot plant. A wedding wouldn’t be a wedding without at least a few first time hangovers – welcome to the club kids!
3. Bells Ringing
   If you want the sound of England just fire up a few church bells. There’s genuinely fewer more triumphant, happier sounds than the echo of Church bells. If you’re having a civil wedding get some bell sounds piped in.
4. Blokes Obtaining the Football Scores
   The perils of a Saturday afternoon wedding are of course, the inevitable football clash. Brides, be wary of passed around phones, unexpectedly helpful trips to fetch stuff from the car, inappropriate whisperings and mood swings. Just don’t jump up and shout “Yes!” during the vows.
5. Hats
   Sadly the hat has recently become a much-maligned accessory limited to teenage Goths, Sunday drivers and that one bloke in the village who wears a trilby. Fortunately, a wedding allows for plenty of hat madness, as approved by Cilla Black.
   BONUS: Uncles
   Uncles exist in a vague shadowy world where they flit forever in-between weddings and christenings. At these events they will talk traffic with anyone who strays near enough. Usually good for a round at some point, but will go wildly off-list with a wedding present that you really don’t know what it is.

Article by Andrew Shanahan of I am Staggered

Staggered is the UK’s handsomest men’s wedding blog. Stop by sometime, say hi.