Ties. Actually, let’s narrow things down a bit: wedding ties. Actually, I’m in a digressive mood so let’s start not with ties but with handfasting. Did you know that in different cultures (notably European and pagan cultures) they represented the idea of marriage not just with tiny Shepherds Pie canapés and expensive dresses, but by tying the hands of the bride and groom together? Cool, huh?
Often each of the guests secured a cord around the couples’ joined hands. This symbolised not just their togetherness, but the guests’ complicity in joining them together.
I think that’s lovely. Just think, if you’re angry about how much you’ve had to pay for your hotel you could tie your cord really tight, constrict the blood flow in their hands and laugh as their hands dropped off. That’ll teach them to not block book the local Travelodge.
Wedding ties and specifically how to tie them is one of the things that as a groom you probably won’t think about until the morning of the wedding. At which point knowing how to tie a cravat, or execute the perfect Four In Hand will make you the coolest Mother Hubbard in the room.