Bride first look for groom

Why We Don’t Care About Your Wedding Dress

I think after the first blog that we’ve shared together (what do you mean you didn’t read it? Shame on you) we almost certainly know each other well enough to swap a few home truths. I’ll go first.

So, the one slither of truth that I’m most keen to share with you might come as something of a shock. Perhaps it would be better if you sat down while you read it. If you’re reading at a computer while standing up then you’re heading for an expensive osteopathy bill, so buy a chair already.

Bride first look for groom

Ok. You know that man you’re going to marry? Your fiancé? Remember him? Well, the fact is that your husband-to-be couldn’t give a flying hoot about your wedding dress.

It may well be the single most expensive piece of clothing you’ve ever bought. It might well have taken months of shopping trips and preparation to select and fit. Yet in the grand scheme of things it’s about as important to your bloke as an episode of The Bill.

I’m generalising a bit and there will be blokes who are more into dresses than others (some of them will be really into dresses). But for the most part men are genetically programmed to ignore everything about dresses.

We miss all the details. The fabrics, the lines, the ruching (is that right? I’ve got no idea what ruching is but it sounds right). If I had to describe my own wife’s wedding dress I’d be able to tell you that it was kind of big, a sort of whitish colour and it had bead things on it.

Now I could claim that it’s just gotten lost in the passage of time since 2005. But I’d bet good money that if you’d asked me the day after I’d have given you the same answer. Dresses just don’t occur to men.

The reason that I wanted to share this with you is because the dress is such an important part of a woman’s day. They can often get upset when their bloke just nods his head and clearly doesn’t give a crap about it.

In this instance it’s vital you remember that your bloke thinks you’re beautiful, regardless of what you’re wearing. He loves you. Your beautiful face, your incredible hair, that weird thing your lip does when you laugh. He loves all of you.

Now, by all means have a great time getting dressed up and making yourself look like an explosion in a cotton wool factory. But don’t ever think that you need to do all that so that his jaw will drop when you walk down the aisle. That would happen if you arrived wearing the tracksuit you slob around the house eating ice-cream in.

His jaw will drop because he loves you and you’ve turned up. That’s more than enough.

Article by Andrew Shanahan

2 comments on “Why We Don’t Care About Your Wedding Dress

  1. OK, so now I don’t feel quite as normal as I did ten minutes ago. Nor, perhaps, quite such a real man. Should I also not have been interested in the flowers, the rings, the bridesmaids (dresses), the food, the venue, the vows? Plus I can remember everything as if it happened only yesterday.
    I am probably just a incurable romantic.
    Well, that’s not so bad.
    Feeling better already.
    All man, all romantic. I can live with that.

    PS Please continue to guest here.

    1. Hi Martin,

      Really, I’m so not the person to be judging what’s normal 🙂

      Hopefully the post wasn’t about how blokes shouldn’t be into their own weddings (after all our business plan is kind of based around the opposite assumption), it’s more that some brides can get actually quite nervous about their dress and what their bloke will think of it and fixate on that. Don’t get me wrong – it is important – I just feel that the ceremony and the day itself is more important. Especially when you factor in that the majority of blokes will just see a big, white dress.

      And I’ll guest here as long as they’ll have me…

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